Embracing the Village

Daily is three weeks old today. We made it three whole weeks as a family of five and I've "only" melted down a handful of times. Even if everything is mostly good, the hormones get ya. They sneak up from around the corner and pretty much make you cry.

But besides that, I have had three whole weeks with help making today the first day I'm rockin' solo while Phil is at work. This is HUGE for us, considering the past two newborn seasons had us in places where Phil didn't have paternity leave and he was back to work within days of birth.

We have had help before, but this time feels different. I think I may be more aware of the gifts God is giving, that He's actually been giving all along. I've been scared to be a mom of three. Scared that being crazy and flustered and flat out mean sometimes were going to once again be my go-to attitudes. In my fears many friends have been praying. They are still praying. They are covering our family and I feel this covering deep in my soul, deep in my humanity even.

I am weak and these early baby days have seemed to magnify my weaknesses. I still find myself teetering on the lines between sanity and feeling out of control, but this time God has magnified His presence in our community. The meals, gift cards, diapers, encouraging texts, friends to play with our big kids, mom's and sister's who support, a husband who works hard, so hard, our church, Rock's school, even our sweet little home, and the discipline (that I curse at times) to follow a budget and now have a mini van to drive. So many gifts. They keep coming and God lifts my head.

I often told people before Daily arrived that I didn't feel like I qualified for the job title, "mother of three." The job description seemed way above my abilities or past experience and if I had the choice I wouldn't apply for the job. These things are still true, but I'm finding that being vulnerable/honest, finding space to still think of others, and giving LOADS of grace to myself and others is growing my less than qualified self to do this job.

I'm breathing in so many, "Thank You's" and breathing out, "Praise be to God."


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