That Fine Line

As I hope to write more often, especially relating to motherhood, I've been feeling the tension of truth telling. It's funny how everyone carries a perception of certain people and sometimes to fight a perception that I may "have it all together" I can overcompensate by being sarcastic or downright negative when I write about my job as a mom. I'm learning all the while what my boundaries are; how much I can say "yes" to without creating an overcommitted monster of myself. I'm learning the gift of motherhood each passing year, as my entry into motherhood was not one that elicited happy tears or fulfillment of dreams. My entry into motherhood was full of uncertainty that I still, three kids later, meddle with at times.

But my heart longs to be an encouragement in the truth telling. I want to have and give permission to gush over my children because they have given me bigger feelings than I have ever felt before. They love me to pieces without hesitation and they forgive quickly without giving me much time to wallow. I also need a place, I think we all do, where I can honestly say, "this job is HARD. I might quit tomorrow. Is that ok? Please remind me I can do this." One of the craziest things about motherhood is the gamut of emotions one can feel within an hour, sixty seconds even, while caring for a child.

I think some major beauty in this whole thing is that we ALL bring something different to the table. We are all good at different things. All the categories of moms hold some necessary truth that we can learn from. I love that part of being a mom, the other moms. I love the work of art this community is and when the noise of comparison is silenced we can live at peace with what we bring to this masterpiece. That is what I want in my story, an acknowledgement of the beauty even in the mess, despite the mess.