There's a Pulse!

Someone is unconscious, everyone around is frantic, the people watching don't know what to do except gape and stare at the body. A person in the crowd comes running toward the lifeless body. This person happens to be a nurse and as she checks the body she relaxes with relief and loudly calls out, "He has a pulse, call 911, but he has a pulse."

Winter seasons are hard on us, lots of us. In the past couple weeks I've talked with friend after friend who is having a hard time feeling their own pulse. We are alive because of the rhythm inside, but loads of us feel unconscious and we need someone to tell us we still have a pulse.

I often attach the thoughts of a rhythm, a beat, a current with God's pulse in the world. It's beating underneath the questions and sadness. It's beating when I dance with Ever or swing as high as possible on the swing set with Rock. The beat shows up when I run into a close friend on accident when I'm ready to quit being a mom. The pulse takes over when I can pray and cry and pray again all by myself. I felt the life that Jesus wants for us as I stood in the middle of the arena at a Billy Joel concert, everyone happy and free and completely together for a moment.

These cold Spring days have made me want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on clothing and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's every single day. I've wanted to stop drinking water because it feels boring and have contemplated "hydrating" with margarita's instead. I've wanted to grab myself by the shoulders and shake myself really hard. I haven't done any of these things because in the weakest places God shows me His pulse every so slightly and I remember He's moving. I want to move with Him.

I don't want an addicts hit of something, anything, just because it will pacify me for the moment. I want to keep plugging in to the current that keeps us all moving forward.

He is life, today is not lost, and we all have a pulse. Even if its so faint you're not sure there's any life left, I'm telling you, your heart is beating!!!!


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