Deep Tears...

Well...my northwest adventure is officially over. A little coast time, a little city time, a little island time, a lot of husband time...goodness :) I literally couldn't have planned a better trip. I walked so much it didn't matter how much I ate (or something like that...).

During the trip my friend Becky kept saying, "life is good" and it was the most refreshing truth. There is SO much in life that isn't good...that drags me down and weighs so heavy, but the haze lifted and it was remarkably good. Thankful doesn't really cut it.

On the other side of this glorious trip was the fact that I left Rock with my mom and sister for 5 days. I knew without a doubt that Rock was being taken care of like a little King, but my heart ached for him at certain times during my time away. I was surprised at the depth of my desire to be with him at different moments. Most of the time they would sneak up on me and my heart would hurt for a bit. It was strange for me...a new realization at the intensity of motherhood.

Needless to say flying home today bore a new excitement. Leaving a vacation never felt so good. My baby boy was waiting for me at home and knowing that was better than staying in Seattle for even one more day.

I walked in the door, ate a little lunch, and waited for my little guy to wake up from his nap (my mom meter is going through the roof during this post, but yes, I did let him sleep for his entire nap without waking him despite my wants and desires). The red dots on the monitor finally started moving and I walked in the door.

In that moment I was nervous to see him. I was scared he forgot about me or wouldn't care that I was back. I got so oddly insecure...but there he was, standing in his bed staring at me. I looked at him for a long time and smiled. I scooped him up and he shyly looked at me. Dipping his head down low and peeking up at me with the sweetest smile. I talked to him and sat with him for a good 20 minutes. Rock sat contently on my lap while he opened and closed my locket necklace. The tears streamed down my face...I just couldn't help it.

I about exploded inside. I have never felt such intense contentment and delight in my entire life. I'm not being dramatic in the least. Something inside of me had feelings that I have never tapped into before. God loves me this way and I can't get over it.